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Located in an older part of a medium sized southern town is what we used to call an "old folks home", but with a twist. With a vision long before its time, the complex is laid out for three distinct life phases: Independent Living, Assisted Living and Nursing Home Care. The minimum age for a resident is 62. Most residents come there with the reality of never living anywhere else. That’s a pretty stark reality to face.   

My wife and I visit this facility pretty regularly because we have a relative who is a resident there. Our relative started out in Independent Living three years ago and has since had to be moved to Assisted Living, due to declining health. I don’t know how many residents live there, but they appear to represent an approximate cross section of our older population. 

Over time we have been able to observe the behavior and personalities of many of the residents. It has become very evident to us that the population there can be broken down into two distinct groups: those who have adapted to the realty of their situation and those who have not. Both groups have a common population of varying age, health conditions, ethnicity and backgrounds. Some in both groups became residents of their own accord and others were given little or no choice. So, what makes the difference?   

Part of the privileges of being a resident is to enjoy the beautiful grounds and gardens on the property. Residents have been encouraged over the years to plant and tend vegetable gardens, planting beds and to create outdoor art. It is quite an amazing and eclectic experience to walk and observe these grounds. One day, my wife noticed a small hand painted sign in one of the many seating areas. It read "Bloom Where You’re Planted.” Whoever put it there was insightful enough to know what separates those two distinct groups.   

There is a lesson for all of us in that small unobtrusive sign. Sometimes we are given opportunities to make choices about life. In some cases, we choose demanding careers, often at the sacrifice of a fulfilling family life. In other cases, we put family and other priorities before our careers. In still others, we choose financial gain over other types of enrichment. The common theme, though, is WE were able to choose.

What about the times we can’t choose? Sometimes personal health dictates what we can and can’t do physically or emotionally. The same can be said for those who have assumed the role of caregiver for someone else in poor health. Some of us come from difficult childhood circumstances with seemingly impossible odds for success. For those of us who have not experienced these type of limitations it’s easy to second guess why someone lives the way they do. 

In 2008 a perfect storm of circumstances turned life around for all of us. The worst economic disaster since the 1929 Depression was on us before we knew it. No one was spared. Those of us who had choices in the past suddenly found that list severely shortened or gone. For those who managed to hold on to their jobs, opportunities for career advancement were severely limited. For the first time in our lives, some of us realized we were going to be right where we were for a very long time, if we were lucky.  

As in most circumstances of life, how we choose to react to this reality is what really matters. If we are truly "stuck", for now, why not excel at whatever we are "stuck" doing. We’ll feel better about ourselves and have a profound positive effect on those around us. For many of us it’s time to look in the mirror and say: Just bloom where you’re planted. If we do this we help beatify our surroundings. Besides, beautiful blooms often open previously unopened doors. 

For more information about Ken Chapman and Associates’ Leadership Development Programs, contact Ken Chapman at 205.366.0265 or email Ken at kchapman@leaderscode.com.

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